• Kayak Trip Day 39: Komárno to Kúpele Patince

    Kayak Trip Day 39: Komárno to Kúpele Patince

  • Danube Kayak Trip Interactive Map

    Danube Kayak Trip Interactive Map

  • Chernihiv to Kharkiv via Sumy by Thumb (Ukraine)

    Chernihiv to Kharkiv via Sumy by Thumb (Ukraine)

  • A Little Tibet in Spain: Karma Guen Buddhist Center

    A Little Tibet in Spain: Karma Guen Buddhist Center

  • Getting the Guinea-Bissau Visa in Ziguinchor, Senegal

    Getting the Guinea-Bissau Visa in Ziguinchor, Senegal

  • Blackberries: Autumn is the New Summer

    Blackberries: Autumn is the New Summer

  • Pandemic in Penang: A Play-by-Play from Two Digital Nomads in Malaysia

    Pandemic in Penang: A Play-by-Play from Two Digital Nomads in Malaysia

  • Kayaking + Snorkeling at Crab Cay and Three Brothers (Old Providence, Colombia)

    Kayaking + Snorkeling at Crab Cay and Three Brothers (Old Providence, Colombia)

  • Ethiopian Food and Drink I Scarfed Down as a Vegetarian in 30 Days

    Ethiopian Food and Drink I Scarfed Down as a Vegetarian in 30 Days

  • Paraguay from the Back of a Pick-Up Truck

    Paraguay from the Back of a Pick-Up Truck

  • Bombeiro-Surfing in Beja, Portugal (Sleeping at a Fire Station)

    Bombeiro-Surfing in Beja, Portugal (Sleeping at a Fire Station)

  • Kayak Trip Day 19: Deggendorf to Vilshofen an der Donau

    Kayak Trip Day 19: Deggendorf to Vilshofen an der Donau

  • AMA: When you first started hitchhiking, did you do it with a mate or alone? Any tips?

    AMA: When you first started hitchhiking, did you do it with a mate or alone? Any tips?

  • I

    I'm Going to Brazil! By Repositioning Cruise

  • A Happy Ending - Kitten Rescue in Portugal, Part V

    A Happy Ending - Kitten Rescue in Portugal, Part V

  • Hunyadi/Corvin Castle, Hunedoara: Wonder of the Magyars

    Hunyadi/Corvin Castle, Hunedoara: Wonder of the Magyars

  • Hitchhiking Bucket List: #6 Ice Road (Truckers?)

    Hitchhiking Bucket List: #6 Ice Road (Truckers?)

  • Kayak Trip Day 2: Geisingen to Immendingen, Hiking the Donauversinkung

    Kayak Trip Day 2: Geisingen to Immendingen, Hiking the Donauversinkung

  • Munching at Quito Food Festival in La Gasca

    Munching at Quito Food Festival in La Gasca

  • Mediterranean Hitchhiking Route (Idealized)

    Mediterranean Hitchhiking Route (Idealized)

‹›

Skip to content
  • About
    • FAQ
  • Trips
  • Regions
    • Central Asia + the ‘Stans’
    • Caucasus + Western Asia
    • Southeast Asia
    • East Asia
    • Europe
    • Africa
    • South America
    • Central America + Caribbean
  • Danube
  • Books
    • Thesis
    • Digital Nomads Guides
    • Under Way: Books in the Making
    • Books I Love
  • Gear
    • Hitchhiking Gear
    • Paddling Gear
    • Digital Nomad Gear
  • Game!
  • Contact
    • Guest Posts
    • Interview Me
    • Collaborations
    • Using My Content
  • Press
    • Interviews
    • Publications
  • Support
  • You
    • Strangers
    • Archive Your Blog

caspian sea

caspian sea mazandaran iran persia hitchhiking swimming hijab head scarf

Modest Swimming in the Caspian Sea

23rd October 201417th January 2021 Iris Veldwijk

#CaspianSea! #Mazandaran      

 
    

Featured in

the plaid zebra three positive hitchhiking stories mind of a hitchhiker

Huffington Post

Matador Network

tanie loty polish mind of a hitchhiker

daily star mind of a hitchhiker

Social

irisveldwijk

It hurts. (9 August 2026) But I'm doing my own th It hurts. (9 August 2026)

But I'm doing my own thing without constant discussion and criticism. There are a lot of things I've learned since the 6th of September 2015. One of them is that a finding a good partner who treats you well doesn't mean a thing. They can absolutely turn around and actively decide to become a piece of shit. Someone who abandons all their principles and goes from being your dream human being to your biggest enemy. 

Everyone always says "Just find a good [insert gender]". I'd found one who was a much better partner than my other two long-term relationships. Perfect, in a sense. The alignment was insane.

Finding a good partner is no guarantee they'll stay good. I don't believe you can fake this for a solid 8.5 years. I've tried to explain it away: midlife crisis, depression, brain injury. Or perhaps plain cruelty.

They neglected and then refused to fix things while I kept working. I went from carrying 50% of the relationship to carrying 100% over the course of about 2.5 years. Mentally and physically, I've been set ablaze. 

Outwardly, I kept pretending everything was fine. I protected their reputation (something you might have noticed I'm done with). That adds to the loneliness. Talk to friends, my loves. Don't stay silent. 

Love yourself first and foremost. I'm an excellent navigator and even I got fucking lost on this road I chose in life.

What a waste of my capacity for love.

📸 in Aguilar de Campoo (Spain) on some hill overlooking the village. I'd just spent the night following my feelings doing whatever I wanted and exploring things in a way I haven't in over a decade. I've gone to Hades and back and it's been a ride.

#roughbreakup #abusiverelationship #midlifecrisis #digitalnomad #hitchhiker
The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar ec The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar eclipse in Northern Spain with @total.together . So grateful for the experience and can't wait to do it again
#totalsolareclipse #eclipsetotal #solareclipsechasers
Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all over again. I don't want to. I am terrified.

In the last 11 years, the cool solo hitchhiker "girl" you might have started following back in 2015 has allowed circumstances to strip herself of everything that that made her her. I don't recognize myself. I don't really know who I am anymore. I would like to go back to being that person, but at my big age? Oof, that's rough.

I used to post here every day and manage a travel blog many people loved. That has been neglected over the years as I was with someone who I thought was the love of my life. The self-abandonment started gradually. Towards the end, I was doing everything to fix things with someone who was drifting away from me while telling me they loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Grow old and such.

I won't grow old with them and I'm uninterested in growing old at all. Growing old sucks.

I've missed opportunities because they took care of me. Opportunities that will never come back. I haven't ever had this many regrets before and I'm overwhelmed by them.

All I want is to rewind time. Either to the point we never met at all so I wouldn't feel this immense hurt and a gaping hole where my heart used to be.

Or rewind to where things started to go wrong. That's the hard part I've been ruminating on for months already. I can't pinpoint it.

I've read the literature about healing. I know what steps to take. Feed myself well. Go out every day for at least a walk, maybe some exercise. Get good sleep. Talk to friends. 

I'm at a fork in the road where the path to self-destruction would just be the easier way to go. I used to be able to do the difficult thing. It's not that I'm incapable of doing the difficult thing of healing; I'm just uninterested. That scares me more than anything. 

Anyway. I know where the gaping hole where my heart used to be is. It's an unbearable six timezones away.

#solofemalehitchhiker
#breakuprecovery 
#happybirthdaytome🎉
Follow on Instagram

Mind of a Hitchhiker Facebook page
Mind of a Hitchhiker Follow me on Facebook

Founder of

VisaRun founder webapp

Digital Nomads Guides travel guide book founder

Copyright © 2026 mindofahitchhiker.com - Privacy Policy