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mazandaran

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Modest Swimming in the Caspian Sea

23rd October 201417th January 2021 Iris Veldwijk

#CaspianSea! #Mazandaran

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irisveldwijk

Necessary update because people are finding my IG

Necessary update because people are finding my IG and looking at my #sadcore posts from a while ago. How am I? I've never been better. Not exaggerating.

It's day 31 in the Bae Area for me. I am surrounded by highly-motivated people who worked hard to leave their country to be here and either earn that bag and/or not squander the opportunities this locus* provides.

My being here is a glitch, a fluke. Something. And everyone is so extremely nice about my lack of qualifications and being a (good 👉👈) tourist. I'm fully aware I'm still wearing the rose-tinted glasses, but in 90 countries (including two prior visits to the US), I've never felt this way about a place before.

My dearest loves... the people here!! I've had a bunch of experiences that have made me feel wanted, loved, inspired, and confused. The lore is building up fast. I am juggling a million things, but apparently I have the capacity for this? Only time will tell. The pendulum might swing the other way again.

One friend makes all my America-maxxing dreams come true. Another person wants to send a thank-you-for-fumbling-Iris postcard to my ex. And then... there's the change in the mission.

The validation-seeking phase is over. I am validated through and through. So while my spreadsheet tells me I've been on 28 dates since my arrival, my strategy has changed and most of those have been 2nd, 3rd, or more dates. Yesterday I officially bumbled too close to the sun, when a match recognized me at an SF Tech Week event. I should stop wearing a name tag.

Perhaps something is brewing. I don't know what yet, but I've found that being 100% honest and direct around the clock works. And I'm vigilant of dynamics of old.

The main mission has now become the side quest. The person I'm trying to help with their scamming situation refuses my help, so I started focusing on work (join us for the 2027 total solar eclipse!) and cats.

You can't help people who don't want to be helped, which is how I ended up being single at 35 and happier than ever. Unburdened and unleashed. The freest person you'll ever meet.

Thank you for fumbling me

*Absolutely everyone tells me to go to New York City, though. Then invite me!

It hurts. (8 August 2026) But I'm doing my own th

It hurts. (8 August 2026)

But I'm doing my own thing without constant discussion and criticism. There are a lot of things I've learned since the 6th of September 2015. One of them is that a finding a good partner who treats you well doesn't mean a thing. They can absolutely turn around and actively decide to become a piece of shit. Someone who abandons all their principles and goes from being your dream human being to your biggest enemy.

Everyone always says "Just find a good [insert gender]". I'd found one who was a much better partner than my other two long-term relationships. Perfect, in a sense. The alignment was insane.

Finding a good partner is no guarantee they'll stay good. I don't believe you can fake this for a solid 8.5 years. I've tried to explain it away: midlife crisis, depression, brain injury. Or perhaps plain cruelty.

They neglected and then refused to fix things while I kept working. I went from carrying 50% of the relationship to carrying 100% over the course of about 2.5 years. Mentally and physically, I've been set ablaze.

Outwardly, I kept pretending everything was fine. I protected their reputation (something you might have noticed I'm done with). That adds to the loneliness. Talk to friends, my loves. Don't stay silent.

Love yourself first and foremost. I'm an excellent navigator and even I got fucking lost on this road I chose in life.

What a waste of my capacity for love.

📸 in Aguilar de Campoo (Spain) on some hill overlooking the village. I'd just spent the night following my feelings doing whatever I wanted and exploring things in a way I haven't in over a decade. I've gone to Hades and back and it's been a ride.

#roughbreakup #abusiverelationship #midlifecrisis #digitalnomad #hitchhiker

The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar ec

The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar eclipse in Northern Spain with @total.together . So grateful for the experience and can't wait to do it again
#totalsolareclipse #eclipsetotal #solareclipsechasers

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