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mazandaran

caspian sea mazandaran iran persia hitchhiking swimming hijab head scarf

Modest Swimming in the Caspian Sea

23rd October 201417th January 2021 Iris Veldwijk

#CaspianSea! #Mazandaran

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irisveldwijk

Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all

Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all over again. I don't want to. I am terrified.

In the last 11 years, the cool solo hitchhiker "girl" you might have started following back in 2015 has allowed circumstances to strip herself of everything that that made her her. I don't recognize myself. I don't really know who I am anymore. I would like to go back to being that person, but at my big age? Oof, that's rough.

I used to post here every day and manage a travel blog many people loved. That has been neglected over the years as I was with someone who I thought was the love of my life. The self-abandonment started gradually. Towards the end, I was doing everything to fix things with someone who was drifting away from me while telling me they loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Grow old and such.

I won't grow old with them and I'm uninterested in growing old at all. Growing old sucks.

I've missed opportunities because they took care of me. Opportunities that will never come back. I haven't ever had this many regrets before and I'm overwhelmed by them.

All I want is to rewind time. Either to the point we never met at all so I wouldn't feel this immense hurt and a gaping hole where my heart used to be.

Or rewind to where things started to go wrong. That's the hard part I've been ruminating on for months already. I can't pinpoint it.

I've read the literature about healing. I know what steps to take. Feed myself well. Go out every day for at least a walk, maybe some exercise. Get good sleep. Talk to friends.

I'm at a fork in the road where the path to self-destruction would just be the easier way to go. I used to be able to do the difficult thing. It's not that I'm incapable of doing the difficult thing of healing; I'm just uninterested. That scares me more than anything.

Anyway. I know where the gaping hole where my heart used to be is. It's an unbearable six timezones away.

#solofemalehitchhiker
#breakuprecovery
#happybirthdaytome🎉

Follow me on the next exciting journey (my life fa

Follow me on the next exciting journey (my life falling apart)

Semyonov Pass, Kyrgyzstan 💕 My first semi-proper h

Semyonov Pass, Kyrgyzstan 💕 My first semi-proper hitch in this country was with two Muscovites and their rental car. It had been his mom's birthday and they were making a week-long trip from Bishkek, surrounding Issyk-Kul Lake, and back to Bishkek for their flight back to Moscow

We met them the day before, when we were looking for a place that would feed us (everything was closed because the tourist season had yet to begin). We had just arrived in Cholpon-Ata. After a short chat, he invited us to come tour the Grigoryev and Semyonov canyons before they drove on to Karakol

This was an awesome little trip with our kind drivers and it filled me with joy. I obviously haven't hitchhiked much in the last year and I really missed this contact with strangers. Now we have an invitation to come say hi to them in Moscow, a city I'd love to visit in all seasons one day and a country I'd love to travel by thumb

The canyons had really unpredictable weather. We were all constantly switching between it's so hot, take off the sweater and putting it back on for the cold and then a waterproof layer because it started raining. Sometimes you'd see the snowy mountain peaks, then you'd look away for a minute and then they were shrouded in clouds

I'm wishing for more remote trips during my next visit to Kyrgyzstan

#kyrgyzstan #kyrgyznature #kyrgyz #issykkulregion #issykkullake #issykkul #issykkul_travel #traveltokyrgyzstan #centralasiatravel #centralasia #stans #hitchhiking #hitchhiker #hitchhikers #hitchhike #hitchhikingstories #hitchhikingtrip #hitchhikingaroundtheworld #автостоп #автостопом #автостопщики #автостопщик #автостопомпороссии #григоревскоеущелье #семеновскоеущелье #иссыккуль #ыссыккуль #ысык_көл #кыргызстан

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