Kayak Trip Day 33: Vienna to Haslau - Birthday on the Danube
Chajnantor Observatory, Chile
Kayak Trip Day 55: Novi Sad to Stari Slankamen – Frozen Toes
How to Get a SIM Card in Bahrain: eSIM Options + Batelco, Zain, and STC
Freecamping at the Termas de Polloquere, Chile
Kayak Trip Day 27: Grein to Krummnußbaum
Kayak Trip Day 67: Crivina to Comoara Istrului – Iron Gate II Dam + Danube Gogoșu Branch
Getting Closer to Iran: Hitchhiking Vayk→ Goris→ Kapan (Armenia)
Kayak Trip Day 65: Orșova to Drobeta-Turnu Severin – Iron Gate I Locks Unlocked!
Samaipata and Bolivia's other "Death Roads"
Czech Out Monaco
Hiking and Urban Exploring at Devínska Kobyla, Bratislava – with Pirate Kitty!
Arriving in Porto - Kitten Rescue in Portugal, Part I
Five Years Ago—My Travels to Buenos Aires Then and Now (Argentina)
Benjë Hot Springs nearby Përmet, Albania (During a Storm)
Naypyitaw: A Surreal Planned City for Lovers of Motorcycles, Concrete, and Serenity
Kayak Trip Day 80: Cernavodă to Hârșova – Third Leak + Swimming Cows
Hitchhiking a Boat: Patience + Frustrations in Corfu, Greece
Kayak Trip Day 48: Érsekcsanád Dunapart to Baja
Hometown Sunset, (Loosdrecht, the Netherlands)

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Iris // Mind of a Hitchhiker

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irisveldwijk

It hurts. (8 August 2026) But I'm doing my own th

It hurts. (8 August 2026)

But I'm doing my own thing without constant discussion and criticism. There are a lot of things I've learned since the 6th of September 2015. One of them is that a finding a good partner who treats you well doesn't mean a thing. They can absolutely turn around and actively decide to become a piece of shit. Someone who abandons all their principles and goes from being your dream human being to your biggest enemy.

Everyone always says "Just find a good [insert gender]". I'd found one who was a much better partner than my other two long-term relationships. Perfect, in a sense. The alignment was insane.

Finding a good partner is no guarantee they'll stay good. I don't believe you can fake this for a solid 8.5 years. I've tried to explain it away: midlife crisis, depression, brain injury. Or perhaps plain cruelty.

They neglected and then refused to fix things while I kept working. I went from carrying 50% of the relationship to carrying 100% over the course of about 2.5 years. Mentally and physically, I've been set ablaze.

Outwardly, I kept pretending everything was fine. I protected their reputation (something you might have noticed I'm done with). That adds to the loneliness. Talk to friends, my loves. Don't stay silent.

Love yourself first and foremost. I'm an excellent navigator and even I got fucking lost on this road I chose in life.

What a waste of my capacity for love.

📸 in Aguilar de Campoo (Spain) on some hill overlooking the village. I'd just spent the night following my feelings doing whatever I wanted and exploring things in a way I haven't in over a decade. I've gone to Hades and back and it's been a ride.

#roughbreakup #abusiverelationship #midlifecrisis #digitalnomad #hitchhiker

The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar ec

The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar eclipse in Northern Spain with @total.together . So grateful for the experience and can't wait to do it again
#totalsolareclipse #eclipsetotal #solareclipsechasers

Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all

Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all over again. I don't want to. I am terrified.

In the last 11 years, the cool solo hitchhiker "girl" you might have started following back in 2015 has allowed circumstances to strip herself of everything that that made her her. I don't recognize myself. I don't really know who I am anymore. I would like to go back to being that person, but at my big age? Oof, that's rough.

I used to post here every day and manage a travel blog many people loved. That has been neglected over the years as I was with someone who I thought was the love of my life. The self-abandonment started gradually. Towards the end, I was doing everything to fix things with someone who was drifting away from me while telling me they loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Grow old and such.

I won't grow old with them and I'm uninterested in growing old at all. Growing old sucks.

I've missed opportunities because they took care of me. Opportunities that will never come back. I haven't ever had this many regrets before and I'm overwhelmed by them.

All I want is to rewind time. Either to the point we never met at all so I wouldn't feel this immense hurt and a gaping hole where my heart used to be.

Or rewind to where things started to go wrong. That's the hard part I've been ruminating on for months already. I can't pinpoint it.

I've read the literature about healing. I know what steps to take. Feed myself well. Go out every day for at least a walk, maybe some exercise. Get good sleep. Talk to friends.

I'm at a fork in the road where the path to self-destruction would just be the easier way to go. I used to be able to do the difficult thing. It's not that I'm incapable of doing the difficult thing of healing; I'm just uninterested. That scares me more than anything.

Anyway. I know where the gaping hole where my heart used to be is. It's an unbearable six timezones away.

#solofemalehitchhiker
#breakuprecovery
#happybirthdaytome🎉

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irisveldwijk

It hurts. (8 August 2026) But I'm doing my own th

It hurts. (8 August 2026)

But I'm doing my own thing without constant discussion and criticism. There are a lot of things I've learned since the 6th of September 2015. One of them is that a finding a good partner who treats you well doesn't mean a thing. They can absolutely turn around and actively decide to become a piece of shit. Someone who abandons all their principles and goes from being your dream human being to your biggest enemy.

Everyone always says "Just find a good [insert gender]". I'd found one who was a much better partner than my other two long-term relationships. Perfect, in a sense. The alignment was insane.

Finding a good partner is no guarantee they'll stay good. I don't believe you can fake this for a solid 8.5 years. I've tried to explain it away: midlife crisis, depression, brain injury. Or perhaps plain cruelty.

They neglected and then refused to fix things while I kept working. I went from carrying 50% of the relationship to carrying 100% over the course of about 2.5 years. Mentally and physically, I've been set ablaze.

Outwardly, I kept pretending everything was fine. I protected their reputation (something you might have noticed I'm done with). That adds to the loneliness. Talk to friends, my loves. Don't stay silent.

Love yourself first and foremost. I'm an excellent navigator and even I got fucking lost on this road I chose in life.

What a waste of my capacity for love.

📸 in Aguilar de Campoo (Spain) on some hill overlooking the village. I'd just spent the night following my feelings doing whatever I wanted and exploring things in a way I haven't in over a decade. I've gone to Hades and back and it's been a ride.

#roughbreakup #abusiverelationship #midlifecrisis #digitalnomad #hitchhiker

The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar ec

The HALO Eclipse Moment of the 2026 total solar eclipse in Northern Spain with @total.together . So grateful for the experience and can't wait to do it again
#totalsolareclipse #eclipsetotal #solareclipsechasers

Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all

Today is my 35th birthday and I have to start all over again. I don't want to. I am terrified.

In the last 11 years, the cool solo hitchhiker "girl" you might have started following back in 2015 has allowed circumstances to strip herself of everything that that made her her. I don't recognize myself. I don't really know who I am anymore. I would like to go back to being that person, but at my big age? Oof, that's rough.

I used to post here every day and manage a travel blog many people loved. That has been neglected over the years as I was with someone who I thought was the love of my life. The self-abandonment started gradually. Towards the end, I was doing everything to fix things with someone who was drifting away from me while telling me they loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Grow old and such.

I won't grow old with them and I'm uninterested in growing old at all. Growing old sucks.

I've missed opportunities because they took care of me. Opportunities that will never come back. I haven't ever had this many regrets before and I'm overwhelmed by them.

All I want is to rewind time. Either to the point we never met at all so I wouldn't feel this immense hurt and a gaping hole where my heart used to be.

Or rewind to where things started to go wrong. That's the hard part I've been ruminating on for months already. I can't pinpoint it.

I've read the literature about healing. I know what steps to take. Feed myself well. Go out every day for at least a walk, maybe some exercise. Get good sleep. Talk to friends.

I'm at a fork in the road where the path to self-destruction would just be the easier way to go. I used to be able to do the difficult thing. It's not that I'm incapable of doing the difficult thing of healing; I'm just uninterested. That scares me more than anything.

Anyway. I know where the gaping hole where my heart used to be is. It's an unbearable six timezones away.

#solofemalehitchhiker
#breakuprecovery
#happybirthdaytome🎉

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Mind of a Hitchhiker Follow me on Facebook

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